What if She Says No: How to Deal With Rejection

Okay, so this wasn’t what you were expecting. You were sure Emily liked you more than just as a friend. Her girlfriend, Allison, told you so. Emily flirted with you, teased you, and you hung out in the same group. You took your time to make sure how she felt.

This morning you were on top of the world. Now you feel sick to your stomach. It hurts. You feel alone. This is exactly the situation you wanted to avoid. What you need to do is:
  • Smile and say, “That’s okay. I hope we can still be friends.”
  • Stay busy with other things, like schoolwork or sports. Hang out with your friends. It will take your mind off your feelings.
  • Stay cool and make a joke about it. Laughing will make you feel better and show everyone you’re doing just fine.
  • Remember that Emily is not the only girl in the world. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? Move on.
And here’s what you don’t need to do:
  • Try to change her mind.
  • Get mad, try to get even, trash talk Emily to your friends, or send nasty emails or text messages.
  • Ask a friend (or one of her friends) to get involved on your behalf.
  • Have a pity-party to feel sorry for yourself. It will only make you feel worse.
  • Ask her next week if she’s changed her mind.
  • Keep thinking about her and what could have been.
Consider this: When you really like a girl, it’s hard to take “no” for an answer. To make it clearer, look at her actions, not just her words. Sure, she’s nice, friendly, and fun to be around, but that doesn’t mean she wants to be your girlfriend or even really good friends. If you force yourself on her, she’ll start avoiding you. If you want to be friends at all, back off.