Or maybe you think everything is going great. Your girlfriend doesn’t show any signs (that you see) of what she’s thinking. Then, one evening she says she wants to talk. Bam! You’ve been dumped. You think, “Wow, I didn’t see that coming.” You feel beat up and upset about what’s happened. A few days pass, and then a few weeks go by. The feelings don’t seem to be going away.
Being dumped is an emotional time, especially if you didn’t see it coming. How do you deal with being dumped? First things first, no matter how strong the urge is to hang on and try to change her mind, don’t. And whatever you do, don’t try to get even. Revenge isn’t worth the time and effort.
What happens next? What if the feelings of anger and betrayal won’t go away? Deal with it the same way you’ve learned to deal with all disappointments in your life. Talk it out. Stay busy, physically and mentally. Take what lessons you can from the experience. Keep moving forward. Don’t look back.
Just so you’ll know, here are the five emotions most everyone goes through when they experience loss, like the break-up of a long-time serious relationship. You may find yourself flipping from one emotion to another, and not necessarily in this order. It’s the way your mind is programmed to deal with loss. Everyone experiences these emotions at one time or another in their lives. You’re not alone.
Denial – “This can’t be happening to me.” Denial is a temporary defense meant to protect you from the shock of what’s happened. It’s usually replaced by thoughts of how life is going to be different now that she’s gone.
Anger – “It isn’t fair.” You’re angry and you blame her for what’s happened. You might be resentful, jealous, or envious of other couples or guys with girlfriends, especially if one of them is with your ex-girlfriend.
Bargaining – “I’ll do anything to get her back.” Bargaining is based on the hope that things can return to how they were: that there is something you can do to get control over what’s happened.
Misery – “I can’t go on without her.” It’s during misery that you come to accept that the relationship’s over. It’s a time when you may feel sad and want to be alone.
Acceptance – “I’m going to be okay.” During acceptance, you realize that life goes on. In time, you begin to look at other girls and think maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to try again.
Consider this: Take your time to heal and feel good about yourself. It’s not a race.
Boy's Guide to Girls: 30 Pointers You Won't Get From Your Parents or Friends (Paperback and eBook)
Posted by Frank C. Hawkins